Friday, December 31, 2010

Pas De Deux

Summary: Three days would pass before he'd figure out why he got the room... and damn him for continuing to let her believe it. [Author's Comments: This short novella is for JessieAngel, one of my two kiriban winners over at Deviant Art. She wanted a certain "roommate" scenario and I weaved one that I hope she'll enjoy. ^_^ Pas De Deux: Ballet term meaning, Dance of Two] She is so amazing!

http://voodooenvy.com

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Another Random Meme

Just a little randomness for y'all.  I don't remember who tagged me.  But I know it was MONTHS ago -tee hee- Sorry! What songs are you currently addicted to? *Change in the House of Filies - Deftones *Erotic City - Prince *Rebel Yell - Billy Idol If money were not a problem, where would you like to live? Hawaii or somewhere in Europe. YouTube a song you like. Post it here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP-6oEdwCNk How long does it take you to get out of bed in the morning? Depends on what kind of mood I'm in.  Usually, on a good day, it takes me only a few minutes. On bad days, I pretty much stay in bed all day. Sweet or Salty? Hehehe!  Wait, what's the question again?  Definitely SWEET! What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction? Vampire Knight! <3 Do you ever wish you were a member of the opposite sex? Sometimes I do. Seems like men are simpler creatures than us complex women :) What websites do you always visit when you go online? Twitter, Facebook, LiveJournal, Tumblr, Gmail, Netflix & Hulu Have you ever shot a gun? Yes. What do you look forward the most in the next six weeks? Going to Arizona for vacation... it's only for a few days, but I have never been there, so I'm truly excited about it. What do you do to change your mood? I usually read a book.  Something that I have read before.  Other times I write.  Writing cures most things. What was the last meal you ate? RAMEN!!!! Wonton Ramen. It was quite yummy :) What time are you usually on the computer? Hmm... well, if I am working, usually by around 8:30 AM or so thru 5:30 PM.  But if I am not at work, I very rarely go on the computer. However, I do use my iPhone almost ALL day. Five things you can't live without. iPhone Laptop (for those days when I feel like writing) Wallet Pink Pen Chapstick The first line of a song you're listening to right now. "I give her all my love... that's all I do..." What's something you'd like to say to someone right now? I'd like to tell my baby girl that I LOVE HER! And that I'll play with her tonight when I get home from work :D What's the last movie you watched? The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King I'm tagging everyone! <3

http://voodooenvy.com

Friday, December 10, 2010

My Life Sucks...

Well, at least today. Couldn't catch a wink of sleep last night. Everything hurts so badly & even though I am so very tired & sleepy, no matter what I do I can't get comfortable enough for even a little sleep. Today is gonna suck, I can tell. I'm already dreading having to get up to make something to eat when I get hungry. That's if I even get hungry at all. Just the thought of having to go down those stairs make me shudder. Ahhh! I'm not gonna cry. No point in it if it's only gonna make me feel worse. 

http://voodooenvy.com

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Chemo Week 7

Today marks the last day of my 2nd chemo cycle.  I am so  happy to have finished 2 cycles already and still be in relative good health.  Now I  have all of next week off to recover. My blood work did not look to good this time around but that is to be expected.  It was not as bad, but I was not expecting the numbers to drop so low. Anyway... Two of my friends came to visit me while I was getting my chemo treatment.  It's always nice to have the company.  Makes time go by much quicker, although I can't help but feel a little bad that I always seem like I'm about to fall asleep when they are there but the meds that they give me before administering the chemo make me sooo sleepy. Oh a better note, I can't wait for next week. I have 3 Christmas parties to attend, on Monday, another on Tuesday and the last one on Wednesday.  Two are at work.  Hopefully I'll have enough energy for them, but I'll make the effort.  The third one is for my daughter's soccer team.  That might be a tough one though, but I'm sure it will be fine. Aside from that, nothing too exciting to report.  Did a little research on liver cancer at work during my lunch break the other day and freaked myself out a bit. Had to maintain an ackward smiling face for like two hours afterwards so that people didn't think I was having some type mental breakdown (which I wasn't, but it was close) and luckily, after having my mini freak out I pretty much slapped myself (almost literally :p) and that was pretty much the end of that episode.  Can't worry right now about the what if's because I'm just not there yet. I just gotta live in the moment, at least for now.  AND I MUST NOT GET AHEAD OF MYSELF. NO MORE RESEARCH, until I speak to my doctor first. I'll be seeing him after the end of my next chemo cycle. I will need to schedule my PETScan for then as well. But that's as far as I can look into the future. Blah. So tired now... as much as I hate to say it, I'm just gonna veg for a bit before calling it quits. As usual, a bit thank you to all my friends, family and co-workers for their continued love and support.  LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!

http://voodooenvy.com

Friday, November 19, 2010

I Want To Be Remembered...

"I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken, and the one that could always brighten up your day even if she couldn't brighten her own." -Unknown

http://voodooenvy.com

Friday, November 12, 2010

Lemon Drops & Licorice Sticks

Summary: InuGrrrl's collection of works that prove porn really can be the plot! [Comment: I'm a sucker for good PORN!]

http://voodooenvy.com

The Heartbreakers

Summary: InuGrrrl's collection of tearjerkers. [Comment: I like them all! <3 I'm a sucker for good angst.]

http://voodooenvy.com

The Age of Innocence

Summary: He had everything a man could ever want, but something happened on the way to Heaven, leaving him irreparably broken and riddled in misery. In his desperation for closure, he vows to do one last thing for her, perform one final act of love... How could he have known that he'd be the one receiving the gift? Rated: R

http://voodooenvy.com

In His Eyes

Summary: He grew up alone in a world that doesn't understand him and she just lost the only one she ever had. But when fate steps in, will Kagome find everything she needs in InuYasha's eyes? Answer to a challenge by LadyTokyo on MM.org. This is my interpretation of her poem ^_^ Rated: R

http://voodooenvy.com

Hikari

Summary: As the gatekeepers of this world, we are blessed with certain abilities, certain powers. We are told when, how, and why to use them. We are warned of what could happen if we defy the rules. In the blink of her blue eyes, I broke every single one of them.

Rated: NC-17



http://voodooenvy.com

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Chemo Week #2

Wow... I can't believe week #2 of my chemo treatment has almost come and gone. I have to say that I was better prepared for this one. I have the tendency to psych myself out and then I end up feeling worse! This week, I tried really hard to not do that this past week and it did help a bit. I still felt like shit on Friday/Saturday/Sunday, and I was still not able to sleep right... my body feel like it's been hit by a truck. Not that I know what that really feels like, but I'm assuming getting hit by a truck feels like that. My head has been pounding like crazy and I'm afraid people think my smiles are starting to look a little forced, which they have been for like maybe 25% of the time. What I TOTALLY LOATHE and DESPISE is having to get poked twice a week (for blood work and for chemo)... I do not like needles. I have grown to tolerate them since I have to do this, but they are definitely not my favorite thing in the world. I complain a lot, but I suppose, in the big scheme of things, I'm one of the lucky ones. And I thank my lucky stars that this is happening to me and not another member of my family. I have funny/quirky way of looking at things, and dealing with things, and I don't think my family members (no offense to anyone) would be able to deal with something like this... well maybe my mom, but she is Wonder Woman, she can do anything! And I have just and AMAZING support group. From family members to friends to co-workers and my employer. Everyone has come together to make me comfortable. I couldn't ask for a greater group of people. And though I do have my bad days, my ugly days, and my whiny days, for the most part, my support group keeps me positive. Love, peace, and don't forget to sign up to be my minion!

http://voodooenvy.com

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

What is the one thing that you cherish more above anything else?

That would be my daughter. She is the most important person in my world. She brings a smile to my face even when I feel like I have no smile to give.

Ask me anything

Monday, May 3, 2010

Do you believe in fate?

Fate is a funny thing. I think, to some extent, I do believe in fate. Too many things have happened in my life where I can't chalk them up to simple coincidence...

Ask me anything

If your house was on fire and you could only grab three things, what would they be?

iPhone
Laptop
Purse

Ask me anything

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

PostSecret: 3/21 Secrets

So I was reading this past week's PostSecret this morning and found a few secrets I found amusing.  I don't always like to visit their website because I find myself getting depressed reading all the secrets. I'm just a softie that way, and... okay, not all secrets are depressing, some are funny, some make me wanna gag, and some are just plain WTF?! But every now and then, when the mood strikes and I do venture into PostSecret land, I always seem to find those very few secrets that make me smile :D


On the back: "At Least I Signed Out Afterwards"


This is for all my friends who have escaped 'work'


I will totally throw a party for EVERYONE too!

Monday, March 22, 2010

The Porn

So my friend posts a message that stated that he was angry for wasting 3 hours... so then, curious as I am, I asked why.  His answer?:



"Long story....but the porn was good!!  LOL"



HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That cracked me up.



I just had to share the uber-randomness.

Despair

"All my life I believed I knew something. But then one strange day came when I realized that I knew nothing, yes I knew nothing. And so words became void of meaning. I have arrived too late at ultimate uncertainty."
-Ezra Pound



"Man dies of cold, not of darkness."
-Miguel de Unamuno



"Now, God be praised, that to believing souls gives light in darkness, comfort in despair."
-William Shakespeare

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Why Voodoo?

Okay, so somebody just asked me, 'What's up with you and this whole voodoo thigh?  Why voodoo?'  I can't really explain why.  I suppose that Voodoo (the word) stuck with me after reading an Anne Rice novel called The Witching Hour. This particular book made such an impact in my life, that from the moment I read it, I pretty much became obsessed with anything and everything about the supernatural and anything and everything related to it. For many many years, since like, 1997 I think, I've been known around the internet as Voodoo Banshee. I always refer to Voodoo Banshee as  my alter ego, because... it really is. And before you ask me: No. I'm not a narcissist.


After that, I went OCD with the whole voodoo thing. In 2003, I decided to make a second LiveJournal account for myself under the username and after that, I went as far as purchasing my own domain name. Unfortunately, voodoobanshee.com was already taken. Imagine my outrage at that! LOL. I did inquire about purchasing it, but I did not have the appropriate funds for that (yeah, right, like I had $5,000 just lying around somewhere at the time.) So then, I started thinking... maybe VoodooBanshee can just be my alter ego/username for everything and I can purchase a separate domain name that has the word voodoo in it. And that's how Voodoo Envy was born.


How did I come up with the name? Easy. I had a running joke with someone on LiveJournal who always made fun of my Voodoo username, so I would always tell him: 'You know you just got voodoo envy, you wanna be like my voodoo when you grow up.' HA! So that's how I got the idea. And snagged myself a .com, .net, and .org.


Later on, I found that Hewlett-Packard had a line of PC's and Notebooks called Voodoo Envy 133 notebook PC and Voodoo Omen desktop PC. I remember that I almost bought a voodoo notebook. They were way cool... signature colors, tribal designs, the works.


That'd be how my voodoo came to be; *tee hee* just my little piece of voodoo history for y'all. And now you know, why voodoo. Why not?


*the end*

Voodoo Queen

I went to Lucille's for lunch this past weekend and I saw this at the bar. Of course, I just had to take a picture. It's all about the Voodoo after all :D

Voodoo Queen


Friday, March 19, 2010

Still Hard...

To this day, I still find it very hard to be around other children other than my own little Cindy.  I knew when I was diagnosed with Cancer that I would never be able to have any more children- and I was okay, still am okay with that. I have my little angel after all. She is the best daughter a mother could ever ask for.



But, still... I still find it hard to believe that I will never create another beautiful life like hers. And as much as I told myself in the past that I didn't want to have any more children, that I was okay with just the one, the truth is, that in the back of my mind I did want to have at least one more baby.  I still wanted to go through that amazing experience just one more time.



When I was pregnant with Cindy, it was the most beautiful and amazing experience of my life. She was like the text book pregnancy, everything about that time was just absolutely prefect. Even the birth was amazing. I cannot think of one negative thing about that time. I can't even say that I was in any pain... major discomfort, yes, but no real pain.



And now, when I see other babies, I get all emotional without even realizing it. I thought I was past this, but the fact is, that I am still having a hard time with it. Not that I feel any less of a woman, but I do feel somewhat empty. I shouldn't, really I shouldn't. I have everything that I have ever wanted and more. There's really nothing lacking in my life. But I miss that feeling- the one where you stare at yourself in wonder. The feeling that you get when you realized that you have another little life inside of you, so precious... so everything... it's just hard.



And I know that I still have other options out there for me. There's always adoption, but... still... how do I fill that void? Should I even feel that way? Is it wrong of me to feel that way? Is feeling that way make me a bad person? I hope not.



Maybe I'm just being selfish that way. I mean, I have a wonderful life already, I shouldn't be asking for more than what I have already been given. I suppose with time, I will learn cope a little better, but until then...









Current Mood: Sad

Death of a Slayer

Title: Death of a Slayer
Character(s): Drusilla
Warnings: Violence
Pairings: None
Fandom: Angel the Series
Word count: 933
Rating: R
Disclaimer: (These characters belong to Joss Whedon, The WB, UPN, and FOX). Although I am emoting these characters I did not CREATE them. No copyright infringement is intended nor implied.






Ring Around The Rosie...

Title: Ring Around The Rosie…
Character(s): Drusilla
Warnings: Violence
Pairings: None
Fandom: Angel the Series
Word count: 901
Rating: R
Disclaimer: (These characters belong to Joss Whedon, The WB, UPN, and FOX). Although I am emoting these characters I did not CREATE them. No copyright infringement is intended nor implied.



 



What Have I Done...?

Title: What Have I Done…?
Character(s): Illyria, Wesley
Warnings: Violence
Pairings: Illyria/Wesley
Fandom: Angel the Series
Word count: 646
Rating: R
Disclaimer: (These characters belong to Joss Whedon, The WB, UPN, and FOX). Although I am emoting these characters I did not CREATE them. No copyright infringement is intended nor implied.



 



The Value of Compromise

Title: The Value of Compromise…
Character(s): Angel, Connor
Warnings: Violence
Pairings: None
Fandom: Angel the Series
Word count: 2,762
Rating: R
Disclaimer: (These characters belong to Joss Whedon, The WB, UPN, and FOX).  Although I am emoting these characters I did not CREATE them.  No copyright infringement is intended nor implied.






In Jeans...

Because it's a sin for any man to look this good. Totally eye candy. I wonder if I could get his number...









In jeans... by ~zakharova on deviantART



 



 



Current Mood: Obsessed

Remember

By Christina Rossetti



Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more, day by day,
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Beyond the Anniversary

I'm beat. It was a long day for me & the hubby. But we had fun. I really like my space, but every once in a while... I guess I'm more of the loner type & enjoy doing things by myself. But since yesterday was my wedding anniversary, I did need that human interaction. And it was well worth it. But, I'm so pooped still, got places to go and things to do...



I feel like doing something like rock climbing, base jumping or cliff diving. I should. And I think I will :D - Anyone interested in joining me?









Current Mood: Joy

A



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M



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Q



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U



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,small>Source: Wikipedia

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Test

Test Test Test

Test

Test

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

My Mojo

Yes... I got mojo... lots and lots of mojo...

LOL

Off to See the Doctor's

Well, I'm off to see my regular doctor now to get all my pre-op stuff out of the way for my surgery next week (nothing major!! Just getting my IV port o cath removed.)



Not too keen on getting it done, cuz yeah, the pain afterward is gonna be a bitch, but I suppose I can safely say that I've been through worse. I'm just a cry baby that way I suppose. I'll probably have to wear a sling or something.  On the bright side, at least my surgery was scheduled BEFORE my wedding anniversary (it's this Friday :D ) so at least that's good.



But first and foremost, before even thinking about setting foot at my doctor's office, I will go to California Pizza Kitchen for some yummy-nummy-nummy food.



Love, and all that jazz...









Current Mood: Devious

Artistic Prompts {#1}

Prose
Create a character that has an unusual phobia. Write a scene that causes that character to face his fear. (500 words or fewer)



 



Picture
:thumb156797057:



 



Quote
“Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die today.” -James Dean



 



Word
Effulgent

Chapter 4: Gone

Title: Damaged Souls
Character(s): Dana (a vampire slayer)
Warnings: Violence
Pairings: None
Fandom: Angel the Series
Word count: 1,389
Rating: R
Disclaimer: (These characters belong to Joss Whedon, The WB, UPN, and FOX). Although I am emoting these characters I did not CREATE them. No copyright infringement is intended nor implied.






Chapter 3: Not My Own

Title: Damaged Souls
Character(s): Dana (a vampire slayer)
Warnings: Violence
Pairings: None
Fandom: Angel the Series
Word count: 1,277
Rating: R
Disclaimer: (These characters belong to Joss Whedon, The WB, UPN, and FOX). Although I am emoting these characters I did not CREATE them. No copyright infringement is intended nor implied.






Chapter 2: Need to Suffer... Need to Bleed...

Title: Damaged Souls
Character(s): Dana (a vampire slayer)
Warnings: Violence
Pairings: None
Fandom: Angel the Series
Word count: 1,394
Rating: R
Disclaimer: (These characters belong to Joss Whedon, The WB, UPN, and FOX). Although I am emoting these characters I did not CREATE them. No copyright infringement is intended nor implied.






Chapter 1: Pain & Illusions

Title: Damaged Souls
Character(s): Dana (a vampire slayer)
Warnings: Violence
Pairings: None
Fandom: Angel the Series
Word count: 2,332
Rating: R
Disclaimer: (These characters belong to Joss Whedon, The WB, UPN, and FOX). Although I am emoting these characters I did not CREATE them. No copyright infringement is intended nor implied.



 



Tuesday, March 9, 2010

WTFBBQ!!

I can't believe it's already noon and I'm procrastinating as per the usual.  I need to go to the post office to buy some stamps and what am I doing? Lazing about, finding excuses (pretty lame ones too) to not go.  Seriously, I really need to get my ass moving and out the door. Before I know it, it will be like, 4:00pm and then I won't go at all...



In other news, I  have one more surgery this month to remove my IV port o cath.  I'm so glad I'm getting that thing out, it really gets on my nerves sometimes, especially when I'm sleeping on my stomach and stuff. I have to see my regular doctor tomorrow to do all the pre-op stuff, so that's gonna be a fun filled day (note sarcasm).  But at least that will be the last of the last.



Ack! And there I go again, trying to get out of going to the post office. Maybe if I stop by the store to buy some nummy-yummy gummy bears or something, I'll have enough of an incentive to move and get my butt going...then again, maybe not.  I wonder what else I could use as an incentive.



Bleh, I suck.



Okay, I'm gonna count to three and I'm gonna get moving.  Ready? Okay.



One.



Two.



Thr...









Current Mood: Embarrased

Monday, March 8, 2010

Death...

Because sometimes it's nice being a deviant... Here's 'Death' from a short one shot comic (which is now being expanded) by YoukaiYume called "Willow".







WiLLOW: Mask by *YoukaiYume on deviantART



 



 



Current Mood: Exhausted

Lyrics: "Jealous Guy" by John Lennon

I was dreaming of the past.
And my heart was beating fast,
I began to lose control,
I began to lose control,



I didn't mean to hurt you,
I'm sorry that I mad you cry,
I didn't want to hurt you,
I'm just a jealous guy,



I was feeling insecure,
You might not love me any more,



I was shivering inside,
I was shivering inside,



I was trying to catch your eyes,
Thought that you were trying to hide,
I was swallowing my pain,
I was swallowing my pain.



 



 



Current mood: Exhausted

Dana Point, California

Went out to Dana Point today with a friend and we tried to go whale watching. Unfortunately, the whales weren't as cooperative as we would have liked... so no whales on the horizon, but I did take two really nice pictures with my iPhone, which sorta surprised me since sometimes, when I take pictures with my iPhones I can never keep my hands steady enough for a good picture. Anyway, this is what I got. Kinda gave me a bit of inspiration too. I feel like I should come here more often with my laptop in hand and write to my heart's content. The ocean does give me that really peaceful feeling, like, nothing else in the world matters other than the right now.  It felt nice. I think I will do just that in the weeks to come...



[By the way: the images are quite large when you click on them... just FYI. :)]



[gallery link="file" order="DESC" columns="2"]









Current Mood: Happy

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Ugh! But Meh.

It's a bit hard to update my Voodoo Envy blog via my iPhone, I've noticed.  I mean, yeah, I can work on the layout and add/delete plugins and or add/update some of the files through my iPhone or even mess with the database if I wanted to.  But using an actual computer is just so much more practical.  I'm not really complaining, no.  I love my iPhone to death and I'm glad I can still manouver around the Internet when I'm not feeling all that great after all, but still. Sometimes, you just have to use a full sized keyboard and screen.  It's just better.  I hope I get well soon, so can go back to being hunched over my desk while using my laptop  like a crazed Internet looney for hours on end. Not to mention that the laptop won't hit my face when I'm half asleep on the bed trying to type an email or text, etc.  Although, my head would probably hit the key board if I did fall asleep while using the laptop anyway, but I'm counting on my super human reflexes to wake me half way to impact... before I can do any real damage. However, I am such a klutz that I'd probably end up on the floor instead.*hee hee*









Current Mood: Annoyed

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Alegría (Cirque du Solei)

...if you have no voice,
SCREAM;
...if you have no legs,
RUN;
...if you have no hope,
INVENT.

Friday, February 5, 2010

(I am not Afraid to) Walk this World Alone

:thumb114383749:



by Suzanne Woolcott //gorjuss

Cold...

It's cold here in Cali...

Kseniya Simonova - Sand Animation

Thank you for sharing :)







City Rain

Rain.
Rain... drops of rain.
Falling through the cracks of the black asphalt sea.
Cleansing everything & washing away all the filth of the world.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Thank you!

Thank you! Thank you everyone for all your support during these tough times. Love you all!

Last Chemotherapy Cycle

Today I completed my last chemotherapy cycle. I am incredibly relieved & incredibly nauseous.

For some reason, I have mixed feelings about it, but over all I am very happy to be able to close this chapter of my life and put this behind me.

Slowly, let me start fresh...

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Inspirarion

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." -Helen Keller

"You can't just sit there & wait for people to give you that golden dream; you've got to get out there & make it happen for yourself" - D. Ross

Thursday, January 21, 2010

I Loved you

By Alexander Pushkin


I loved you; and perhaps I love you still,
The flame, perhaps, is not extinguished; yet
It burns so quietly within my soul,
No longer should you feel distressed by it.
Silently and hopelessly I loved you,
At times too jealous and at times too shy.
God grant you find another who will love you
As tenderly and truthfully as I.


 

My Thotz in Plain Color . Chaotic Soul :: Converted by Randomness