What Have I Done...?

Title: What Have I Done…?
Character(s): Illyria, Wesley
Warnings: Violence
Pairings: Illyria/Wesley
Fandom: Angel the Series
Word count: 646
Rating: R
Disclaimer: (These characters belong to Joss Whedon, The WB, UPN, and FOX). Although I am emoting these characters I did not CREATE them. No copyright infringement is intended nor implied.

 

What Have I Done...?

 

The anger that I felt was immeasurable and it only grew, fueled by the sight of such unworthy humans trying to lay their hands upon me thinking that perhaps they could do some damage to this rotted shell of a corpse. Such insects, all of them, fluttering about like moths, spreading their filthy wings and tearing each other apart for no reason at all. Stupid imbeciles, wasting their lives in boxes such as this one called a skycraper.

I punched one of the males that had hit me as my back was turned to him. I punched him so hard I herd the crunch of his bones, and it made me smile. Humans were so weak, their bones breaked so easily, such a pityful beings, they meant nothing, they were simply a species awaiting extinction.

I wreaked havoc inside, breaking the hands and limbs of humans that tried to lay their fingers upon me. And as I turned around and punched one of the females across the face, I saw Wesley trying to get up off the floor among the broken pieces of glass that lay scattered about.

My betrayer.

He was the reason my powers were gone. He was the reason my glorious essence had been reduced to this pitiful state. We had a bargain, he and I; I had kept my end, and yet he betrayed me! He turned me into something less than I already was. I would have rather been a titanic crater, a force blasting throughout the walls of that wasteful building he worked in, and been a mere memory than be this, this mockery of what I once was.

He would pay, and pay dearly for such a monumental betrayal. He would pay with his life…

I began to walk towards the door, and found my path blocked by a few primitives. Did they truly believe they could stop me?  Laughable.  I smirked, and began to make paste out of their bones. They screamed and almost knelt at my feet and soon the path was clear.

Without a second thought and without looking back I rushed towards the door. And swung it open almost breaking it off of its hinges. Wesley would know the ecstasy of pain. He would know my name, and my face. I would be the last thing he would ever see.

Stepping out into the open, I began to feel different, something with in me had changed, and just as quickly as my anger fallen upon me, it also began to fade. And although subdued, Ii could still feel it in me- all the anger and rage, things were not as clear. Soon I stood above Wesley, his face in perfect agony as I lifted him up by the throat, my fist posed ready to strike.

I tilted my head slightly and frowned… I wanted to strike but found myself unable. And then the moment was gone and my anger melted way, but still the haze remained. And slowly, like the mist and morning dew dissipating, things began reveal themselves.

“Wesley?” I asked, my hands still holding him firmly. “I- I don’t understand,” I began to feel something inside of me, something stronger than anything that I had ever felt before. Slowly I brought him down, and realized all that I had done.

I couldn’t truly express what I was feeling right at that moment for it was all new to me, I didn’t have the words for it, and I didn’t know how to say what I wanted to say. There was too much, so much all at once, and Wesley’s pain felt like my own, as I realized that his grievous state had been all my doing, and I could not bear it at all.

And in that one moment of weakness… for the very first time, I felt small.

“What have I- done…”